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Bullying

••Bullying
Bullying 2011-08-31T08:56:40+00:00

Bullying

Bullying is a widespread and serious problem that can happen anywhere.  It is not a phase children have to go through, it is not “just messing around”, and it is not something to grow out of.  Bullying can cause serious and lasting harm.

Although definitions of bullying vary, most agree that bullying involves:

  • Imbalance of Power: people who bully use their power to control or harm and the people being bullied may have a hard time defending themselves
  • Intent to Cause Harm: actions done by accident are not bullying; the person bullying has a goal to cause harm
  • Repetition: incidents of bullying happen to the same the person over and over by the same person or group

Types of Bullying

Bullying can take many forms. Examples include:

  • Verbal: name-calling, teasing
  • Bullying is a widespread and serious problem that can happen anywhere.  It is not a phase children have to go through, it is not “just messing around”, and it is not something to grow out of.  Bullying can cause serious and lasting harm.

Although definitions of bullying vary, most agree that bullying involves:

  • Imbalance of Power: people who bully use their power to control or harm and the people being bullied may have a hard time defending themselves
  • Intent to Cause Harm: actions done by accident are not bullying; the person bullying has a goal to cause harm
  • Repetition: incidents of bullying happen to the same the person over and over by the same person or group
  • Social: spreading rumours’, leaving people out on purpose, breaking up friendships 
  • Physical: hitting, punching, shoving
  • Cyberbullying: using the Internet, mobile phones or other digital technologies to harm others

An act of bullying may fit into more than one of these groups. We would like to focus on one aspect of bullying: Cyberbullying

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What is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying, instead of happening face-to-face, happens through the use of technology such as computers, cell phones and other electronic devices.  Cyberbullying peaks around the end of middle school and the beginning of high school.

Examples of cyberbullying include:

  • Sending hurtful, rude, or mean text messages to others
  • Spreading rumors or lies about others by e-mail or on social networks
  • Creating websites, videos or social media profiles that embarrass, humiliate, or make fun of others

Bullying online is very different from face-to-face bullying because messages and images can be:

  • Sent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
  • Shared be shared to a very wide audience
  • Sent anonymously

Effects of Cyberbullying

Research on cyberbullying has found that students involved are more likely to:

  • Be unwilling to attend school
  • Receive poor grades
  • Have lower self-esteem
  • Have more health problems

Cyberbullying can have particular affects on those who are targeted. Research has found that young people who have been cyberbullied are significantly more likely to:

  • Use alcohol and drugs
  • Skip school
  • Experience in-person bullying or victimization

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What Kids, Teens and Young Adults Can Do

Be Smart Online and Texting

You can prevent cyberbullying by being careful of what you do:

  • Always think about what you post or say. Do not share secrets, photos or anything that might be embarrassing to you or others. What seems funny or innocent at the time could be used against you. You do not have complete control over what others forward or post.
  • Set privacy settings on your accounts. Make sure that you are only sharing information with people you know and trust. Pay attention to notices from social networks, because sometimes privacy settings change.

Make Cyberbullying Stop

If you or someone you know is being cyberbullied; know that it does not have to be this way. There things you can do to help you and your friends:

  • Talk with someone you trust. Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. Reach out to a family member, friend or another adult that you trust.
  • Do not respond to cyberbullying. Sometimes people post or text teasing or name-calling to get a reaction. If someone has posted or sent a message that could be hurtful to others, refuse to pass it along or respond to it.
  • Keep evidence of cyberbullying. Record the dates, times and descriptions of instances when cyberbullying has occurred. Save and print screenshots, e-mails, and text messages.
  • Block the person who is cyberbullying you. Many websites and phone companies let you block people. Also, cyberbullying may violate the “Terms and Conditions” of these services. Consider contacting the service provider to file a complaint.
  • Report the incident to your school/coach. They may be able to help you resolve the cyberbullying or be watchful for face-to-face bullying.
  • Ask for help. Sometimes, talking to a counsellor or health professional can help you get through the emotional effects of bullying

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What Parents Can Do

Although it is difficult for you to monitor your children at all times, it is extremely important to pay close attention to possible cyberbullying incidents involving their children, especially if their kids are younger. The Children’s Online Privacy  gives parents control over what information websites can collect from kids.

Help Kids be Smart Online or While Texting

  • Communicate with your children. Set up a daily time to check in with your son or daughter, and listen to any concerns about online activities that they are involved in. Talk specifically about cyberbullying and encourage your children to tell you immediately if they see or experience cyberbullying. 
  • Be aware of where your children go online. Familiarize yourself with the technology they are using.
  • Develop and enforce rules. Work together and come to a clear understanding about when, where, and for what purpose phones and computers can be used. Develop clear rules about what is and what is not appropriate online. Decide on fair consequences and follow through consistently.

How You Can Help

  • Talk with your children. Do not just ignore the bullying problem or hope it will go away. Tell your child that you are concerned and that you’d like to help.
  • Tell your child not to respond to cyberbullying. Responding can sometimes make the situation worse.
  • Empathize with your child. Tell him or her that cyberbullying is wrong, that it is not their fault, and that you are glad he or she had the courage to tell you about it. Do not assume that your child did something to provoke the bullying. For instance, do not ask things like, “What did you do to aggravate the other child?”
  • Work together to find solutions. Ask your children what he or she thinks can be done to help, and reassure him or her that the situation can be handled and still keep them safe.
  • Document ongoing cyberbullying. Work with your children to record bullying incidents. Write down what happened, where, who was involved, and when it occurred. Find out how your child reacted and how the students bullying, bystanders, and adults responded.
  • Block the person who is cyberbullying your children. Many websites and phone companies let you block people. Cyberbullying may violate the “Terms and Conditions” of these services. Consider contacting them to file a complaint.
  • Contact law enforcement. Police can respond if the aggressive behaviour is criminal.
  • The following may constitute a crime:
    • Threats of violence
    • Child pornography and sexting
    • Taking a photo image of someone in a place where he or she would expect privacy
    • Harassment, stalking, or hate crimes
    • Obscene or harassing phone calls or text messages
    • Sexual exploitation
    • Extortion
  • Be Persistent. Talk regularly with your child to see whether the cyberbullying has stopped. If the bullying persists or escalates, you may need to contact the appropriate people again or talk with an attorney. Don’t give up.

Any questions or concerns please contact KMHA – riskandsafety@kmha.ca

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What We Can All Do

Schools, sport associations, etc, all play an important role in ensuring that activities of kids, teens and young adults are in a safe environment, in school, at the rink or in cyberspace.

Preventing Cyberbullying

We all need to educate players, coaches, parents, and others about cyberbullying, its dangers, and what to do if someone is cyberbullied.

Discuss cyberbullying with players. They may be knowledgeable about cyberbullying and they may have good ideas about how to prevent and address it.

Be sure that your school / Association rules and policies address cyberbullying. 

Closely monitor students’ use of computers/mobile devices at school, the rink and at home. Use filtering and tracking software on all computers, but don’t rely solely on this software to screen out cyberbullying and other problematic online behaviour.

What To Do When it Starts

Investigate reports of cyberbullying immediately. If cyberbullying occurs at the rink, you are obligated to take action. If the cyberbullying occurs at school/home, you can still help. Remember even cyberbullying that occurs at school/home can affect how students behave and relate to each other at the rink.

  • Closely monitor the behaviour of the players involved for all forms of bullying.
  • Investigate to see if those who are cyberbullied need support from a school counsellor or community-based health professional.
  • Notify parents of players involved in cyberbullying.
  • Talk with all players about the negative effects of cyberbullying.

Contact law enforcement. Notify the police if the aggressive behaviour is criminal. The following may constitute a crime:

  • Threats of violence
  • Child pornography and sexting
  • Taking a photo image of someone in a place where he or she would expect privacy
  • Harassment, stalking, or hate crimes
  • Obscene or harassing phone calls or text messages
  • Sexual exploitation
  • Extortion

Any questions or concerns please contact KMHA – riskandsafety@kmha.ca

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Recognizing the Warning Signs

There are many warning signs that could indicate that someone is involved in bullying, either by bullying others or by being bullied.  However, these warning signs may indicate other issues or problems, as well.  If you are a parent or coach/team official, learn more about talking to someone about bullying.

Being Bullied

  • Comes home with damaged or missing clothing or other belongings
  • Reports losing items such as books, electronics, clothing, or jewellery
  • Has unexplained injuries
  • Complains frequently of headaches, stomach-aches, or feeling sick
  • Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams
  • Has changes in eating habits
  • Hurts themselves
  • Are very hungry after school from not eating their lunch
  • Runs away from home
  • Loses interest in visiting or talking with friends
  • Is afraid of going to school or other activities with peers
  • Loses interest in school work or begins to do poorly in school
  • Appears sad, moody, angry, anxious or depressed when they come home
  • Talks about suicide
  • Feels helpless
  • Often feels like they are not good enough
  • Blames themselves for their problems
  • Suddenly has fewer friends
  • Avoids certain places
  • Acts differently than usual

Bullying Others

  • Becomes violent with others
  • Gets into physical or verbal  fights with others
  • Gets sent to the principal’s office or detention a lot
  • Has extra money or new belongings that cannot be explained
  • Is quick to blame others
  • Will not accept responsibility for their actions
  • Has friends who bully others
  • Needs to win or be best at everything

Any questions or concerns please contact KMHA – riskandsafety@kmha.ca

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